24th
Did I mention that the world SCREAMS out your name?
You said, “I don’t care what’s out there, or if the sky falls down on me.”
Even though I live in the same house as my parents, I haven’t seen them since Thanksgiving of last year. They came to work with me at my job, and it was pretty fun. They were there with me for Black Friday. I think that was the last time I saw them. Since then, I have tremendously felt like Jan Brady. You know, where she does the “Marsha, Marsha, MARSHA!” thing? Yeah, that’s how I’ve felt. My brother got married last December. The only reason my parents came to work with me was so that they could have money for the wedding. Since the engagement, it’s been nothing but my brother and his wife. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, and I think it’s wonderful they are together, and I am SO looking foreward to having a neice. PLEASE don’t think that I feel anything other than excitement and love with this. It would be the wrong thing to thing. However, I haven’t had a legitimate conversation with my Mom, in almost a year, that doesn’t somehow involve my brother. Somehow, the topic ALWAYS comes back to him. I have come to live for the times that I have work. Most normal people don’t feel this way. I do, because when I am at work, NOTHING relates back to my brother. I am me, and nothing else matters. This past year has been a REALLY crappy year. Not to mention, for the past few weeks, I have been getting some REALLY crappy headaches because I lost my last pair of glasses. OH! One of our cars is beat to shit, now, and since we have one, I get to drive everyone all over the place. SO not my thing.
I’m done being a sad emo kid now, I think. I know there are people worse off than where I am now, but this is a personal low…I don’t think it’s ever been this bad. I don’t know what to do, and I am NOT seeing God’s plan ANYWHERE in this muck. I’d love to know how it’s going to end. I’d also like for people to stop asking me if I’ve found a husband yet. Two things I don’t foresee in the near future.
