14th
Damn Rough Night.
I went to pick up my Dad from work tonight. I got there at 10, because he said he should be done somewhere around that time. It was about 11:45/12 am when he got out. We were giving a guy he works with and we go to church with a ride home, because he lives close to us. Along the way, I tried to stop at a stop-light. The van is what I was driving, and the van’s breaks were AWFUL…as in: start stopping now, because by the time you get there, you MIGHT be stoped. Well…that didn’t happen. The breaks went out. I had my entire body thrown into pushing down on that break pedal, and I was still moving. This was one of the scariest moment of my life. A bit more ensued, but I don’t feel the need to throw it in here as well. It freaked me out, and I am just not ready to see more money go into ANYTHING. There just isn’t enough. For anything! I don’t know how we’re going to make it through this month…this is the longest time that the cell phones have been off. Not for lack of trying, certainly. It’s obnoxious, because people don’t look at these situations and think “Wow…that person must be having a really rough go of it. That sucks.” No…they think more along the lines of “Well, obviously they have done something stupid to be in that situation. WHAT do you spend your money on? How frivolous ARE you?!” Guess what: money gets spent on BILLS! Bills & gas & a little on food. Yes, we do induldge with having the AT&T Uverse package, but if we didn’t, nobody would ever be able to get ahold of us!
…I just don’t know where this is going. I feel terribly hopeless…& tired. I need a vacation. Too bad I can’t afford one…EVER.
The upside to this is that I know that God HAS TO work this all out. Nobody else can…nobody else can even atempt to work it out. God is the ONLY ONE who can do this. He is the only reason everyone in the van tonight is safe. HE is the reason I am alive!! In every way. Despite the hopeless feeling, I WILL NOT let satan pull me down! God already knows. He’s got it under control. Let’s face it, HIS control? WAAAAAAAAY better than mine. :)
